Jesus Christ has joined Christian Mingle!

And isn’t it about time? We all knew that Mary Magdalene was all wrong for him. He’s single and centuries later ready to mingle. It makes perfect sense that he’d choose Christian Mingle, why not keep it in the family? I’m sure he gets a discount, perhaps the Friends and Family Holy Spirit Package.

His profile writes itself. Easy going sandal loving dude who’s good with his hands seeks seeks single women to spend eternity with. Looking for a match made in Heaven. His hobbies include turning water into wine and quick and easy fish recipes.

I can even see him doing an ad for Christian Mingle. They said he’d come again and we’re here to help… Christian Mingle. I’m Jesus Christ and I’m not just a member, I’m also the savior.